Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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