She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
