she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
