Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize