im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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