This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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