The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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