I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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