on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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