Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
