I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
