last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
