doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
