Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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