dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
