I think my vagina is haunted
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I party with great urgency now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
