i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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