I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
