i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just found a bag of teeth...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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