Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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