all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
