Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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