i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
