Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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