They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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