Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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