hotel room ftw
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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