We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize