And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
