so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize