Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize