Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He shit in the fireplace
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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