Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize