My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
