also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize