State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
