In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
