my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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