Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So vagazzling was a success
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize