North Korea, Best Korea!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
