If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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