That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
