he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
