Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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