Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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