Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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