My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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