Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My balls are so social today.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize