Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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