i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize