sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
