i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
