Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
