she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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