When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
