So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
