Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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