Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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