i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I need a beard to bite.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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