aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
