Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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