Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
