I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize