i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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