i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
