The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
