One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
