I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
