shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize