Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
