my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
