But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
