My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
