STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
