hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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